My Elysian Moment

I saw her standing near the train station, waiting for me. Somehow, everytime I see her she seems to be more beautiful than before. I paused for a moment, refocussed my gaze on her, took a deep breath and walked towards her. She saw me and smiled. I smiled back. We shook hands and started walking.

I was meeting her after 4 months. She was visiting a friend in the same city where I worked and wanted to see me. I wanted to see her as well. I still loved her the same way I did a year back. Perhaps even more than that.
The train journey was filled with numerous voices of people; a blend of concerning sounds, happy talks and some sleepy phone conversations. Add to them the roar of the train running on the track and you get a symphony. That day I could hear none of those. Her non-stop chattering filled my ears all the way till our station arrived. She loved to talk and if she wished she could go on for 10 hours nonstop. I wish I can hear her for 10 hours nonstop.
We arrived at the station and into my parked car. I was taking her to my home, and then head out for dinner. I wanted to see her face while I was driving and while she was talking to me. My eyes turned to face her although they were just glances. I can't stare at her for long as it makes me fall in love even more.

We reached my house. She removed her jacket and relaxed on the couch, her hair flowing down on her shoulders. I took my place on the couch next to her. We started talking again. She knew what she was talking. I did not care much. I was there relishing her voice, savoring each and every moment sitting beside her for I knew this is the last time.
She talked about her work, her research, her career and her fiance. None of the things made me flinch except the last one. She knew I loved her. I am not a good pretender and she had realized that months back. But she also thought that I had let it go and she kept on talking about him. I nodded my head, smiled a bit and replied with some occasional mumbles during our conversation. We talked for two hours. All the time I just looked at her. I looked at her eyes hoping to see my reflection in them. I looked at her lips and wished that I was the one touching them instead of someone else. I looked at her face and......I smiled. I realized that I just can not stop loving her.

I didn't feel like eating at dinner. There was no appetite for me. After dinner she wanted a picture of both of us together. She asked me to rest my arm on her shoulder. I did. If I wanted I would never have let it go.
It was time to drop her back to her friend's home. I was driving. She seemed a bit tired as she didn't talk much then. I did not dare to turn my face and look towards her. I was busy counting the time left for us to be together, time left for me to hear her voice.
I pulled alongside her friend's house. I looked at her then. She waved goodbye. I did the same and drove off.

I reached my home, dropped the keys and sat on the couch. I turned. The seat which had an aura of the magical voice was empty. I felt my hands sliding towards the empty seat. Nothing but air. I tried to force a smile. That was the last time I was with her. There would be no meetings, no phone conversations or even emails henceforth. From that moment she did not exist in my life.

It is more painful to be with someone you love knowing that you won't be loved back. I had spent four hours in that moment. And just like a puff of magical smoke it was over. My elysian moment.


/* Fiction. Hell, if everyone writes love stories, I am writing one too */

My smack talking girlfriend

My girl is a Baltimore Ravens fan. I am a Pittsburgh Steelers fan. Normally, she cheers for the Steelers as her second favorite and I cheer for the Ravens as my second favorite. This is the foundation upon which our relationship is built. But we are less than a week away from their clash and the smack-talking has already begun. And it's not pretty, let me tell you. The other day, I was feeling a little down (a pigeon had pooped on my shouler), and my girl said to get over it. She said, "Stop sulking, you've got the body language of Ben Roethlisberger"

"Oh, yeah, well, when things don't go perfectly for you, you panic like Ray Lewis" (that's the best I could do)

"Well, we're not going to have to worry about that when we crush you guys from the get-go," she said.

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"Yeah, you better hope Brian has a good game plan."

"I don't think he'll even need it."

"Oh, he'll need it alright. If he doesn't, don't start crying when the Ravens get burned, like that toast you made last week."

"I might not be a great cook, but at least I can deliver in bed."

"What are you saying?"

"You stink in bed."

"That's only with you."

You see. It's not going to be pretty that day. Does anyone else have this problem?

Before you came things were just what they were:
the road precisely a road, the horizon fixed,
the limit of what could be seen,
a glass of wine no more than a glass of wine.

With you the world took on the spectrum
radiating from my heart: your eyes gold
as they open to me, slate the colour
that falls each time I lose all hope.

With your advent roses burst into flame:
you were the artist of dried-up leaves, sorceress
who flicked her wrist to change dust into soot.
You lacquered the night black.
As for the sky, the road, the cup of wine:
one was my tear-drenched shirt,
the other an aching nerve,
the third a mirror that never reflected the same thing.