Tuesday, November 21, 2006

My smack talking girlfriend

My girl is a Baltimore Ravens fan. I am a Pittsburgh Steelers fan. Normally, she cheers for the Steelers as her second favorite and I cheer for the Ravens as my second favorite. This is the foundation upon which our relationship is built. But we are less than a week away from their clash and the smack-talking has already begun. And it's not pretty, let me tell you. The other day, I was feeling a little down (a pigeon had pooped on my shouler), and my girl said to get over it. She said, "Stop sulking, you've got the body language of Ben Roethlisberger"

"Oh, yeah, well, when things don't go perfectly for you, you panic like Ray Lewis" (that's the best I could do)

"Well, we're not going to have to worry about that when we crush you guys from the get-go," she said.

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"Yeah, you better hope Brian has a good game plan."

"I don't think he'll even need it."

"Oh, he'll need it alright. If he doesn't, don't start crying when the Ravens get burned, like that toast you made last week."

"I might not be a great cook, but at least I can deliver in bed."

"What are you saying?"

"You stink in bed."

"That's only with you."

You see. It's not going to be pretty that day. Does anyone else have this problem?